my job interview went well.. I was accepted but i love the company and the pay is reasonable for a start but my heart is just no in it... I really want to take a job in his country.... I am waiting to hear word but it is taking a while... it may be a month before I hear something.... also when I get to his country he might not be there to see me...which makes me sadder since he's going to the army...
argh these days i just want to make excuses to get mad at him.... ahhh.. i feel like I am more into him than he is into me... maybe that hurts or bugs me....
what should i do take the job overseas later when the offer comes through or take the job now... I have only until monday to reply... so lost... teaching overseas would be a crazy experience... I have no idea if my body could take the new enviroment... I am prone to being bus, subway, car, boat... everything motion sick... last time i went i was really sick... i'm worried but I think with my new strength at heart I would be ok.. or I would have to adapt to be ok....
I think the main reason i want to take the job in his country is because i want to see him so badly and that I let him leave knowing that I would go there for a year... from that my heart knew I would at least survive the loneliness and heartache of not having him here next to me....
just the thought of not being able to see him kills me inside... if I had known that I would just be dead i guess inside...
what would be the best choice... take the job in the u.s. or go overseas... =(... choices so little time....
i know the choice i make now will make a world of a difference.. it so hard to choose.......
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